Beginnings
by Mags62
Summary: Stuff from my forum days, that I retrieved. All prior to my current storyline, this is Corso and Miriah as they got to know one another.
1. Chapter 1

Maura woke up her little sister, excited for her. This day, her fifteenth birthday, was going to be a wonderful day, or at least as wonderful as Maura could make it. Miriah never got the parties and such that Maura and Magdalane had as small children, so now that Maura was working in the receiving facility at the temple and making a little money, she wanted to do something special for her.

Miriah had been saving herself for this day. She'd spotted the one, the one she wanted and intended to make her own. She hadn't told her sister, since she knew Maura wouldn't approve. She'd even dreamed of it, sighed over what was to come. She felt a sensation in her very being that was exciting to her. Everything she had done over the past few days had been laced with this anticipation, this need. So when her sister woke her and told her that she had a day planned for them both, Miriah felt the anxiety of her plans being reset. She felt the disappointment, sharp and breathtaking, take over the happiness of her birthday, but she knew one day wouldn't matter. He would still be hers.

They spent the day doing girl things, talking and laughing, visiting with their older sister at the temple. Maura and Magdalane had both given Miriah what she'd requested, credits. When they had dinner at home, Miriah was beaming, knowing her destiny was in sight now. She fell asleep dreaming of what would be, and woke with the sun.

Miriah paced anxiously, waiting for the first glimpse, the rush of seeing her wish fulfilled. When the weapons shop opened, she was almost giddy with the prospect, but she'd been looking long enough to know exactly what she was after. She made a direct line to the display of shotguns, seeing the slightly smaller, double-barreled model she'd been dreaming of still there. She eagerly handed over her credits, and took the weapon in her hands, releasing a slow breath of admiration. It was perfect! It fit her small frame as if it had been made for her, and on the way out of the shop, she slung it over her shoulder, and smiled.

You never forget your first shotgun, after all.


	2. Chapter 2

The bell for dinner rang, but Miriah ignored it. Her final exam was in the morning, and she figured she needed every minute to study. This would complete her freshman year at military academy, and she would go to Maura's graduation next week. She had some energy bars stuffed in a drawer, she could make do with that. Who would have ever thought that when she'd decided to follow her sister to military academy, she'd love it? She sure didn't. She didn't even tell her mom before she left for Coruscant, not as if she cared anyway. Her size was almost a disqualifier, but she squeaked by the screeners. She aced her academic classes last term, and this term, her first hands-on flight class had been amazing. Her instructor liked her, maybe a little too much. She dismissed some of his comments since she was the only female in the class and figured it was just normal.

She stayed up all night, using her imagination to simulate flight in her mind and practice her hand movements. Because her hands were small, she had to be creative in some of the adjustment and throttle settings. At two am, she decided a brisk walk around the quad would clear her mind and give her a boost. She saw Maura there, with some of her friends, no doubt after a party for those graduating.

"Hey, sis. Up studying?" Maura asked her. She nodded, and waved as she jogged past. Maura shook her head, her sister had never shown this level of determination about anything before, and Maura was proud of her for sticking out her freshman year with excellent grades and a good reputation among the class.

The hours passed in a blur of instrumentation and numbers, and the exam time was approaching. She knew the exams were given on a one-on-one basis, so she wasn't surprised to see that she was alone with her instructor. They made their way onto the simulator and she started the preflight checklist, humming softly to herself. Feeling confident, she sailed through the exam and was sure she'd done well. When she turned to the instructor to ask when the marks would be posted, she was suddenly aware that he'd moved closer to her, invading her space. He held her future in his hands, and she was trapped.

"So, little girl, what exactly would you do for a good grade? Hmm? I mean, women aren't exactly the best pilots, but they do other stuff really well." He pressed himself to her, leaving little doubt what she'd have to do to pass the class.

Her mind whirled. She'd slept with men before, but not against her will. She could do this, but then how could she live with herself? Her decision made, her dream disappearing quickly, she grabbed the much bigger man's shoulders and kicked his special place as hard as she could. She could still hear his strangled groans as she ran from the room.

She packed her things through her tears. Why? Why do these things always happen to me? She grabbed her gear, dragging the large bags through the barracks halls to the taxi. She cried, not only for her now shattered dream of being a military pilot, but of failing, once again, to achieve something she wanted. When she reached the spaceport, of course, all the shuttles off Coruscant were booked. She sat, defeated, on her gear bag, her head in her hands. She'd been sitting there for about an hour when she heard a freighter land, and looked up to see a handsome man in leatheris armor, blasters on each hip, swagger down the ramp of the ship. Something about the walk, the confidence of this man intrigued her. I bet he's a pilot, she told herself. I bet no one ever messes with him. She knew he was a smuggler, but really, was it a bad life to have?

Suddenly she grinned her trademark grin, and realized she could still be a pilot. She stowed her gear with a porter droid, and ran after the smuggler, hoping he had some room on his crew.


	3. Chapter 3

Corso looked out of the very clean window at the small shuttle, seeing the fuel lines attached and full. He'd never been on Carrick Station before, and had enjoyed seeing all the sights. What am I doing here, he wondered. Why did I leave Ord? Again? He shuffled his feet and glanced over at the small woman he'd decided to protect, even if she didn't want it. He'd sworn to himself that he'd hold his heart apart, that he'd never care about anyone the way he'd cared about his parents, so that when they left or died his heart would be spared. He knew now that resolve was already gone.

He'd known her for two days. Two days, and his entire future was scrambled. He'd left his world, his life, and he knew he'd never look back. He watched as she shifted in sleep, curled up against the gear bag he'd brought along. She'd lost everything- her ship, her belongings. She was still wearing the clothes she'd been stranded in. Unlike the other girls he'd known,( all two of them he thought with a snort) she didn't whine. She simply accepted what was and made the best of it. Maybe that's why, he thought, she was so easy to love. Wait, did I just think that? He spun back to the window, and ran his hands down his face.

Goodbye, Ord Mantell, he thought. Hello, future.

Miriah was aware she was sleeping on a gear bag but since her ship had been stolen, it was the best sleep she'd had. She was also aware that she was being watched, guarded, and she didn't have to open her eyes to know by whom. She stopped the sigh she'd almost let escape and blinked in the bright lights of the spaceport. Corso saw her move out of the corner of his eye and stretched to hand her a cup of hot caf. She grunted her thanks and closed her eyes again as she took a sip, letting the heat of the liquid warm her from the inside. Two days she'd spent in her current wardrobe, she thought as she pulled the jacket around her. "Hey, Riggs," she said, her voice still hoarse both from sleep and from the yelling she'd done at the sky as her ship took off without her. "I'm going to go buy some clothes. Holo me if anything changes in the flight schedule and I'll be back in time to board." She saw him nod and pushed herself to her feet. New boots, maybe, she thought.

"Thank the stars my bank accounts are untouched," she muttered, checking the balance there again with her datapad. She strolled along, visiting vendors in their stalls and accumulating several bags. She felt his stare even a few yards away, but knew he was only preserving his one means to get his precious blaster back. She continued to shop, looking at the wares that were displayed but also looking at the items that were further back, the more expensive items she knew she wouldn't indulge in. She was turning to head back to the shuttle boarding area when the flash of silver caught her eye. A pair of boots hung in the back of the vendor's stall, and she stopped in her tracks. He won't have my size, she told herself, they never did. She debated with herself for a few minutes, then slowly walked over to the merchant.

"Hey, those boots in the back, can I see them please?" she said, seeing the tall Zabrack's eyes light up with the prospect of a sale. He handed over the boots, keeping one hand on the security chain he'd fastened to the wall behind him.

"What size do you need, Captain? " he asked, looking at her feet. She blushed a bit when she told him, and immediately grinned when he said he had made a pair already that were small enough to fit her. She watched with anticipation as he brought them out. "They're not exactly the same color as these, but I think they're actually prettier. I used softer leather, too. " He watched as she ran her fingers over the toe of the boot and then back up the length of the leg. "Try them on, feel how they mold to your feet," he encouraged her. She bit her bottom lip but sat, taking off her old, worn pair. They were indeed well made, she thought, as she slipped them on.

"They're nice, " she finally said, and flipped the tag on them over to see the price. "But surely you're joking with this price." She looked up at the merchant from her sitting position, putting on her best "you're killing me here" face. "You know there aren't many around who could wear this size. I'd bet I'm probably the only person who's even tried these on." She turned on her biggest smile. "I can pay you half that," she told him.

"Half! No, no, no, " he said, holding out his hand for the prized boots. "I can't even cover my costs with half!"

"Well, surely there's a better price than this," she told him, flipping the tag over with her fingers.

"Nope, I won't take a credit less," he insisted, and Miriah slowly pulled the boots off her feet. She put her old ones back on with a sigh. She needed new ones, but she just couldn't spend what he was asking for them.

Reluctantly, she picked up her other bags and made her way to the shuttles, her mood darkening when she saw the other passengers lined up. I'll never get a decent cabin now, she fumed, looking around for her traveling companion. He was jogging up to the entrance when she spotted him. "Damn it, Riggs, I thought you were going to get us on first, so we had the pick of cabins! Now we'll have to take something close to the engines. I'll never sleep!" she grumbled, shuffling along behind the last person, her back turned to the Mantellian. He joined her, and they boarded the shuttle.

They walked down the halls looking for available cabins, and finally found one that had two bedrooms divided by a small refresher. "Here," he said. "I'll take the one on this side and you can have this one on the end. It should be quieter." She shot him a sour look and put her bags on the bed. "You can even have the 'fresher first, a shower should help you feel better." He turned and went to the smaller room, whistling as he stowed his gear. She pulled fresh clothes out of her bags and after takeoff, made her way into the small area.

He was right, she thought. I do feel better. She quickly dressed and made her way into her room, setting her clothes out for the service droid to pick up. She turned to put the rest of the things she'd bought into a duffle and stopped. There, on the bed where she was sure to see them, were the boots she'd wanted. She immediately felt terrible for being so irate, and walked over to pick up the prize. Beside it lay a note. " _Thanks for letting me tag along, Captain. Gotta keep you light on your feet. You need these._ " She sat to put the boots on and couldn't keep the smile off her face.

Miriah walked toward the forward deck and the mess hall in her new boots, a smile on her face, and her feet happy. She spotted her traveling companion easily. Corso stood out among the crowd, his handsome face open and warm to everyone around him. It's like he has this magnetism, she thought, seeing a child tug on his sleeve. Corso bent to talk to the young man, and when he rose, they were both laughing. He spotted her then, and moved away from the others to walk with her to a table.

"I'm starving," she said, beckoning a service droid.

"Bout time," he chuckled. "I was beginning to think you were one of those girls who only ate on odd numbered days or something." She grinned at the jibe, and proceeded to order a regular meal. Just to show him, she thought, I'll even order desert. They sat back to wait on their food, sipping drinks. "I'll be glad to be on Coruscant," he said. "Never been there before."

"Really?" she asked. "I figured with all your time working in shipping goods on Ord you'd have travelled to the capitol every so often." She nibbled on the bread that had been placed on their table.

"Nope, left all that to the guys in the offices," he told her, slicing another piece of bread and placing it in front of her. "You've been there?" He watched her face as she sighed, seeing revulsion and fear before she smoothed her features into calm.

"Many times, " she said, and picked up the bread. "I haven't been back in a while, though." She met his calm gaze for only a moment before looking away. "Oh look, here's our food." She waited while the server placed their meals in front of them, gave the young man a smile that had him blushing, and began to eat. Corso could only watch as she devoured her food. "Eat up, Riggs," she told him. "Never know when we'll get the opportunity to have a relaxed, delicious, hot meal. Have to take advantage of it," she said, pointing at him with her fork. He smiled and ducked his head. The food was excellent and the company better, he thought. He ate, savoring the fact that they were together as much as the food.

Miriah sat back, patting her full stomach. "Now that was good," she said, and gave him one of her brilliant smiles. He felt himself blush just as their server had. What was it that she had, that made him want to be near her, made him fidget when he wasn't? "What's the matter, Corso?" she asked, sipping another Hutt tequila the service droid had left.

"N-n-nothing," he stammered, blushing again. "Just wondering where someone as small as you puts so much food." Her delighted giggle made him blush deeper. "I figure we'll be able to find good things on Coruscant, don't you?"

"The only good thing there is my ship," she said, her mood suddenly shifting to serious. "Believe me, that's all that's worth anything on that planet." She took a gulp of her drink then, refusing to meet his eyes. Her memories of Coruscant felt like a deep black hole, sucking her in. He wouldn't even sit with me if he knew, she thought. Hell, I wouldn't sit with me either. She shook her head to clear it, and stood, intending to take her fresh drink with her to her room.

Corso stood as well, taking the full glass from her hand. Before she could protest, he spoke. "I want to make a deal with you, Captain," he told her. "We go to Coruscant, get both your ship and my blaster back, and you tell me why just talking about a planet makes you afraid." She raised her eyes to his, startled that he'd seen so much in her face, and mutely nodded. He stuck his large hand toward her, and she put her hand in his, feeling his firm grip and hearty shake throughout her body. They walked back to their quarters, neither speaking.

Corso murmured a "G'night, Captain," as he entered his room. The warmth of her small hand spread through him as he reveled in the memory of her touch, and he could do nothing but lie on the small, hard bed, thinking of her.

Miriah slowly took off her boots, and fell back on her own small, hard bed. Kark, this is turning out to be a nightmare, she thought. First we get these second rate cabins, then I happen to be working with a man who can see right through me. She turned on her side, trying to get comfortable, and remembered the warmth that spread through her when they shook hands. She felt her body relax, and drifted to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Coruscant. Miriah sighed as she looked around at the bodies and water deep under the main plaza. She felt dirty, hungry, and tired. She could only imagine how she looked. Corso was resting near a pipe she'd just fixed. He looks tired, too, she thought. We need a little break here. She turned to tell him that and saw children approaching them. Corso sprang to his feet but left his weapon on his back.

"What are you doing?" the young boy cried. "That's our only source of water. Without it, we can't survive!" The little girl with him looked scared, and they were both too thin.

"What are you even doing down here?" Miriah asked. "Where are your parents?"

"Dead," the boy said, his face set in stone. "We and others like us live down here. And we need that water on."

"Listen, I made a deal to fix the pipe, and it stays fixed." Miriah saw the little girl tear up, and the frown on the boy's face. "But, here," she said. "Take this." She handed the boy a few cred sticks. "That should be enough to get you to another planet, preferably one where you have relatives." The boy looked at the cred sticks, then turned shining eyes to the smuggler.

"Thank you. Now I can get Jenny to safety, and the others down here, too." He ran off, the little girl turning as they left to wave. Miriah sat down heavily, stunned that kids so young were living like that. It suddenly seemed futile, this running after her ship, doing the biding of others to keep the information flowing. She felt like a crate of transperisteel was crushing her, unable to move or even really to feel anything. They sat in silence for several minutes.

Corso was getting ready to stand when he heard it. Miriah sniffled. Not a ladylike, soft one. A large, wet sounding sniffle. He had never seen her cry, he thought, not even when her ship lifted off the deck without her. He peered at the captain, but saw no tears on her lovely face. "What's wrong, Captain?"

Miriah sat quietly for another minute. "Why are you still here, Riggs? You could buy another blaster with the credits we've split by now. You could be warm and dry, somewhere on Ord Mantell, putting your life back together. So the question is, why?"

Corso shifted his newly purchased armor and gazed at the tiny woman who looked so tired sitting across from him. "Yes, if Torchy were just another blaster I could have replaced her by now. She's not. She's my first, and yeah it's corny but I just don't want to lose her. Besides, there's another reason."

"Yeah? Spill it," Miriah said, a small smile on her face.

Corso thought for a few seconds. "A promise," he replied, and scooted closer to her. "I made a promise." He put his hand on her arm, and her eyes flew to his face in surprise. "When I make a promise, it's golden. I would never willingly break it. I promised to help you find your ship." She continued to stare at his face, drowning in his deep brown eyes. "I intend to do that, Captain. I'm with you, no matter what." She thought she heard deeper meaning in his words, and when she was looking into his eyes, she could believe in him, in them. A loud noise somewhere close by broke the spell, and Miriah shook her head to clear it.

They stood, and started back to talk to Darmas. Miriah let Corso lead, because her head was still spinning from their exchange. I must be more tired and hungry than I thought, she mused. I almost thought I had let him through my defenses there for a minute. She trudged behind him, still thinking. Either that, or Corso Riggs is a more dangerous man than I ever imagined.


	5. Chapter 5

Miriah sauntered into the inner room of the cantina, seeing Darmas Pollaran at the card table in front of her. She felt more than heard Corso growl when the older man silently appraised her, and she winked at him over her shoulder, hoping Corso would take the hint. "Come in, my dear. You're looking lovely for having spent the day in the underbelly of this planet," Darmas said.

"It has been a long one, and I'd love a drink," she replied, shaking loose her long hair. Corso swallowed reflexively, his fingers flexing involuntarily. He so wanted to touch her right now. She continued her loose hipped walk over to the sitting area and arranged herself on the couch, knowing both men in the room were watching her every move. She leaned forward and poured herself a drink, nodding in approval at the Hutt tequila.

"Maybe you'd like to join me in a little game of sabacc," he leered, and she felt Corso move closer to where she sat.

"Maybe later. First, I'd like to know where my ship and that scum Skavak is," she said, already on her second drink. Darmas saw that she'd poured another and she could practically see the wheels turning in his head.

"I've told you all I know. Information is like a wanted present, it takes it's time arriving," he told her, pouring his own drink. "We could use this time to get to know each other better." Corso actually stepped forward then, his hand instinctively reaching for his weapon.

"You're too old for her, Darmas, surely you can see that," Corso said through gritted teeth. If he touches her, I'll kill him right here, he thought. When the older man laughed, Corso looked at his captain in confusion.

"We're just talking here, farmboy, it's all okay," she told him, softening the nickname with another wink. He began to realize she had some scheme in mind, and relaxed a fraction.

Drink after drink, she matched the older man. It wasn't long before Darmas was nodding off in his chair, and eventually just gave up and slept. Miriah stood, her words slightly blurred. "Corso, let's go find some food and a shower," she told him.

"You're just gonna leave? You didn't want to stay…with…with him?" he asked, seeing the slow smile spread across her face.

"He's fine, just had too much to drink. He'll wake up, remember that he was bested by a girl, and that will be that. He's just a flirt, Corso, I never intended for anything more to happen." She started out the door, and Corso looked back at the sleeping gambler. Sucker punched, he thought, by a little slip of a woman. He turned to follow her, knowing he'd been punched as well, and grinned at the thought.


	6. Chapter 6

Maura stretched lazily, the ship's internal lighting controls signaling early morning. As she stretched, her foot met the solid presence of muscled leg, which only twitched in response. She looked over her shoulder, a little surprised to see Aric still there. He usually was so concerned about the rules and anyone knowing they were together that he made plans to be gone back to the crew quarters by now. She smiled and shifted toward him, still facing the door, when he grabbed her and drew her against him.

"Hey, what's this?" he growled softly, his voice raspy from sleep. He traced his finger along the tattoo on her shoulder. "I didn't see this before, but then again, we usually don't have a lot of lighting." She laughed at his observation.

"Yes, I've had that a long time now." She didn't offer any further explanation, but he persisted.

"I know you'd never get a tattoo that didn't mean something, Maura." He moved to sit up, "but if you don't want to talk, I'll.." He was stopped by her arms around his shoulders, pulling him back to her.

"It's just a tat, Aric, nothing more. Something my sisters and I did a very long time ago. Now, we're awake early, I'm sure we can figure out something better to do than talk." She smiled at him, then frowned as he pulled away.

"Why can't I know you, Maura? I thought this," gesturing between them, "was more than just fun."

She sighed, "It IS more than just fun, but we have so little time together as it is…" She put her head on his shoulder. "It's really kinda silly, now, and I'd forgotten it was there for the most part." She took a moment to gather her thoughts. "I told you my father is dead, right?" He nodded, waiting for her to continue. "He was a Jedi, a poetic soul who wrote things in his journal that were so beautiful, they'd make my sisters and me cry. He was killed on Coruscant, months before my youngest sister was born." Here she sat up, pulling the sheet to cover her. "He wrote this poem, about the stars in the sky and how his stars weren't in the sky but appeared in miniature form, smiling at him over a meal every day." She reached back and let her fingers graze the ink on her left shoulder. "Thus the stars, three of them. One for each of us. My older sister's is the largest, the yellow one. Mine is in the middle, the blue one, and my younger sister's is the purple one. She never knew him, and it haunts her to this day. We got these tattoos, all identical, the day I left for the academy."

Maura hadn't thought about the tattoo or her sisters in quite a while. They all had separate lives, and it wasn't unusual for months to go by without them talking, but just now, telling Aric about them, she felt ashamed that she'd been distant.

She got up to dress, and Aric watched her, silent. She turned to brush her hair when she felt him behind her, taking the brush from her hand and running it down the russet waves himself. " I know how protective you can be, Major, but your sisters need no protection from me. I want to know you, and your family. " He kissed her shoulder, where the tattoo now lay under cortosis weave.

They were very late for morning formation.


	7. Chapter 7

Corso watched the Jedi out of the corner of his eye, still a little nervous and wondering about that jolt of cool something she had when he'd shook her hand. I guess that was force power, he thought, and wondered if she even noticed it anymore. He'd never met someone who was so calm, so serene that even he could feel it. He told her to make sure she was strapped in, then lifted off the surface of the planet, his captain's home world. Mags felt the quick jolt of passion when his thoughts turned to her sister, but he calmed himself quickly. She waited until he was out of the atmosphere to speak, not wanting to distract him.

"So, Corso, does my sister know you're in love with her?" she asked him, hiding her smile. His quick head turn, accompanied by the blush that heated his face, told her that he was caught completely off guard.

"I've asked her if I could court her, and she agreed, but she still has all these walls around her," he finally coughed out, and Mags was impressed that he'd seen those walls. They had more than a few hours to talk, and instead of going head on with this, she instead asked him about his family, his childhood.

"I grew up with both parents on Ord Mantell, we had a ronto farm there before the seps killed them, " he told her, turning his deep brown eyes to her own green ones. "I have great memories of being a child there, the outdoors and the livestock. My parents were great, loved each other and me." He grinned, thinking of his mother's smile and his dad's laugh. He saw the smile on Magdalane's face, she was feeling what he felt, the warmth and love. He told her several stories of growing up on Ord, of his life. She knew now that her sister had revealed none of her own childhood, and her fears of letting anyone close to her.

"Corso, I am going to tell you now of another world, another life, and maybe it will help you see what you face in your pursuit of Miriah. Has she told you anything of how she grew up?"

He thought for a minute. "She's told me she has two sisters, and that she never knew her father, but that's about all."

"I see," Mags said, "then you know that she was born a few months after our father was killed in a Sith attack on Coruscant. Our mother left her in the care of our middle sister, Maura, who was not quite four years old, and a house droid when she was a week old. Her childhood was spent trying to win our mother's love, and even though Maura and I loved her very much, she never got over the fact that our mother abandoned her. She's faced rejection many times over the years, and eventually she got to the point that she vowed to let no one close to her. It seemed easier for her to bear that way, and she built those walls you see." Magdalane shifted her long legs, moving her thick robe to get more comfortable, and saw the sadness in the young man's eyes as he digested her words. His feelings ran from sad, to hurt, and then to longing. _Oh, Miriah, you're so toast_ , she thought. She let him run through the gamut of emotions, then spoke again. "She has no idea of how unconditional love works, or any love, really. Her feelings for you confuse her, scare her, and ultimately will cause her to run away rather than be rejected if she acknowledges them." He sat, lost in thought, while she asked the replicator aboard the small craft for tea.

"What do I do then? How do I let her know what I feel without her feeling threatened?" He turned his worried eyes to the Jedi, seeking the knowledge there.

She sighed. "Are you sure that you want this? Because if she ever gives in, trusts you enough to love you and risk the hurt, she will not easily survive a reversal of the emotions." She almost held her breath waiting for his answer, and when it came she knew without a doubt he was sincere.

"I want a life with her. I love her with my whole heart, and want nothing more than her forever, " he confessed, and Mags was hit with the power of the young man's emotions. She hid her grin, and thought, Good answer.

"Now, then, my young padawan, let's talk about what you can do to get my sister to drop those defensive walls." The rest of their journey was spent with Magdalane offering advice, and Corso eagerly soaking up the wisdom of the Jedi.


	8. Chapter 8

" _A season change is upon us all, sister, be prepared_." Season change, Miriah snorted, as she read the message her sister had sent her. What kind of Jedi nonsense is this? Corso had picked Magdalane up on Tython, but before they could get to the _Stardancer_ , the diplomatic service recalled her leave time, and Corso had delivered her to Republic Fleet instead. She was on the way there now, hopefully to at least have dinner with her Jedi sister before she had to be leaving. Season change, now why does that ring a bell? Oh yeah, she thought, remembering the time she'd heard that phrase before.

" _I'll never, ever get involved again," she'd sobbed on her oldest sister's shoulder. "I'm done with relationships. Everybody leaves, everybody!" They'd just seen their other sister, Maura, off to military academy, and since she'd been Miriah's constant companion practically since birth, it was painful to let her go. Not only was her sister gone, but the guy she'd been involved with was in her class, and had gone too. Now, Miriah felt more alone than she'd ever been, and was telling Mags that she was done getting close to people._

 _"You cannot live your live avoiding people, Miriah Julianne! You are a very passionate person, you'll explode if you try to keep all that inside you." She patted her baby sister's back, knowing it wasn't helping but helpless to do anything more. At fifteen years old, Miriah was so mercurial in her moods as to be totally_ _unpredictable, but Mags heard the steel in her young voice. "Mir, sometimes you just have to experience a season change. Not like the weather, but in life. You've gone along one way, then something changes, then something else changes, and it's like you've undergone a different phase or season in your life. A season change. That's what this is, sweetie_. "

She walked to the bridge, ignoring Risha's stare. What does she mean? She sat, staring at the stars, remembering the last force vision Mags had told her about, and it was so off. That's probably what it is, she thought, something Mags dreamed up and thinks is true. I'll have to ask her, when we dock.

A few hours later, Miriah was sauntering in her loose hipped walk down the cantina steps. Suddenly her attention was drawn to a booth to her right. She turned and saw Corso there, but she had to look again. Something was different, she thought, he's looking directly at me, not blushing. There's a confidence I haven't seen from him lately. She met his gaze and started to walk toward him, and felt the shiver pass over her. _A season change is coming._

What had Magdalane done?

Miriah met Magdalane in her room over the cantina the next morning. "I take it that you and my first mate have formed a bond?" she asked, after hugging her Jedi sister. Magdalane smiled her Jedi smile, the one that said "I know more than you do about this", and it almost made Miriah mad. Almost. They got to see each other so seldom lately that she was reluctant to let anything be contentious between them.

"He's a very sweet guy, Miriah. You realize he's completely in love with you?" Mags had moved over to the breakfast she'd had sent to her room, and sat. Miriah had gone completely still. Mags hadn't told her anything she hadn't suspected, but just hearing the words out loud stunned her. "Miriah, you have eyes and ears, this cannot be a totally new idea to you."

"No, " she replied, "it's not, but it still scares the force out of me, you know that." Miriah joined her sister at the table, her appetite replaced by the thoughts of their dinner the evening before. She could still feel his fingers encircling her wrist, the warmth and gentleness of him washing over her in that moment. The moment she'd lost any interest in finding a flirting partner for the night, and settled in to spend the evening talking and drinking with him. He'd escorted her back to her ship around midnight, and they'd parted after a long kiss, neither of them able to sleep after that. She'd left early this morning, and didn't see any of her crew.

"If you could let go of your fear, you'd admit you have some feelings there as well," Mags said, her Jedi smile on her lips again. She could feel the internal struggle her sister was having, even though her face remained impassive. Mags put her hand over her sister's, getting those silver eyes to look into her own brilliant green ones. "I have no doubts, Mir, that he is committed to you already. You just have to defeat your own barriers to others to be happy with him." Miriah felt the cooling calm infuse her, from Magdalane's force use, and it steadied her breathing and slowed her heartbeat from the immediate flight reaction she always had to the thought of anyone really loving her. She absently touched her lips, the memory of that kiss lingering there, and broke the eye contact with her sister.

"Let's leave that for now, how are things going with the diplomatic corps?" Miriah asked, and Mags answered. Only Miriah didn't really hear anything but the same question, over and over, in her mind. _What if he's the one_?

Miriah strode over to the table, her gaze never leaving those warm, brown eyes. He kept the contact, and when she sat, he moved a fraction closer to her. Hmm, she thought, either he's had a few already or Mags did something to him, some woo woo Jedi stuff. "Mags already gone?" she asked him, and he hesitated a

second before answering.

"She's in a briefing, said she'd catch you in the morning before we left," he replied, his eyes never leaving hers. She smiled, her trademark brilliant smile, attempting to distract him from his intent study of her face, but he still held the eye contact. She looked away, suddenly nervous, and ordered drinks.

 _She's afraid no one ever sees the real Miriah, Magdalane had told him. She had this whole hardened persona, this front, that she shows the world. That's not who she really is, and if you stay contstant, show her that she can't fool you, you'll win her._ Corso recalled those words now, as he saw Miriah shift into her persona after the brief moment of real. They settled in, sipping their drinks, Corso telling her about seeing Tython and all the Jedi for the first time.

She studied his face, his movements. Confident, relaxed, sure of what he's doing and going after, she mused. We'll see, she thought, as their food arrived. They ate in companionable silence, aware of each other but not at a point where either of them were uncomfortable. After they'd eaten and refilled their drinks, Miriah sat back in the booth and looked around, thinking she'd catch someone's eye to flirt with. Corso reached out and grabbed her wrist.

"Don't," he said, his voice pitched low, his desire evident in his tone. "Don't hide, Cap'n. Stay here, with me." She turned her eyes to his slowly, trying to reason with the sudden desire to touch his face. Wanting him was never the problem, she thought, it's the "more" he wants that's the issue. Remember that, she told herself, but his touch was searing her skin, muddling her thoughts. She realized he'd moved closer to her, and when she finally lifted her eyes to his, the contact briefly stunned her.

"I don't know how, Corso, don't you get that? I know what you want, but I don't know how!" She tried to pull away, to run back to the ship, but she couldn't move, held by his eyes.

"I know," he told her, lifting the wrist he still held and kissing her hand. "We're going to learn, together."

Magdalane saw them from the upper deck, and smiled.

Magdalane stumbled into the kitchen of her family home on Tython, looking warily around for the teapot. She was only home for a few days before she'd get her next diplomatic assignment. Ahh, she thought, there it is. She filled the pot and put the water on to heat, then sat to wait. She was in a quiet meditation when her youngest sister burst into the room, anger on her face.

"What in the kriffing void gave you the right to give my crew mate ideas on how to 'court' me?" Miriah almost shouted. Corso wouldn't admit it, but she'd sent the Mantellian to pick her sister up, and when he'd returned, he was smoother, much more in tune with what she was thinking, than he'd ever been before. Mags had to be the answer, Miriah thought.

"So what if I did? Not that I'm confessing, of course. But so what? The man is deeply in love with you, Mir. He's a good man, a genuine soul." Magdalane calmly went about fixing her cup of tea, smiling to herself. She'd known Miriah would figure it out eventually, but hadn't expected this level of reaction. She turned to her sister and shrugged. "He's yours, Miriah, whether you realize it or not. And, by the level of fear I detect in you, you are just as in love with him but won't admit it."

"Leave the woo-woo force stuff at the door, Mags. I make those decisions, not you, not Corso Riggs!"

"So you're denying you have feelings for a good man, for a change? You're trying to make me think you don't love him as much as he loves you? Do you?"

Miriah was caught by a memory then, of their time on Taris, and a night being locked in a room together, ostensibly to keep out the rakghouls. " _Your last first time should be memorable"_ , he'd told her. And while that hadn't happened yet, she could sense it was close, and she felt her insides heat at the thought.

"No, Mags, just…no" Miriah said, but she'd had to turn her head to keep Mags from seeing her blush, or detecting with the force just how much desire was coursing through her at the thought of Corso's touch, his words. I miss him, she realized, and her blush spread.

 _Liar,_ Mags thought, smiling into her tea cup.


	9. Chapter 9

"AAARRRGGHHHH" yelled Miriah, kicking a crate, then hobbling around the hold on one booted foot. "These damned things are never put in here properly! Bow, get your hairy butt in here!"

Risha looked out of the corner of her eye at Corso, both of them trying to stay out of sight as the wookie shuffled to the hold, an exasperated sigh escaping. "We've got to do something," she said, "it's been at least a week since she slept all night, and three days since she slept at all."

"Has this happened before and I just didn't know?" he asked the engineer, peering around the bulkhead to see where the captain was.

"Yeah, but it's usually not this bad. Only once before did I have to get her drunk to break the insomnia." Miriah had never been a good sleeper, but once one of these insomnia cycles hit, there were only two things that worked to break it. Get her blind, passed out drunk, or drug her. With her size and weight, the drugs were unpredictable, and Risha knew if they resorted to that, they'd be vulnerable in contested space. Miriah could fly the paint off this rig drunk, but not drugged, was Risha's speculation. That left alcohol as the best option. "I got her drunk last time. It's your turn, farm boy." She grinned at him. "That is, if you think you can keep up with her."

Corso groaned, he'd seen his captain drink, many times. He knew she could put him under the table. They heard something heavy hit the wall, and the resulting swearing in at least three languages. Bow came back around the corner at speed, her yells following him. "And next time, try to at least line them up on the wall, eh? Fracking crap, ought to just space it all," she muttered, stomping as hard as she could with her now-throbbing foot. She made her way to the bridge, her headache fighting with her foot to see who could hurt worse, and the nausea from not sleeping rising again. She sat heavily in her chair, not noticing the quiet.

"Go, now while she's sitting down," Risha whispered urgently. "Before she spaces one of us!" Corso looked at Risha and sighed, then went to the bridge, dropping into the left chair, and glancing quickly at Miriah.

"Cap'n, how 'bout joining me for a drink? We've got another day in hyperspace, right?" She nodded at him, and while they'd been cautiously exploring a relationship, she still was wary. But a drink sounded like a good idea, maybe it would numb this headache. She got up and followed him to the lounge, where Risha had set up a bottle of Hutt tequila and a beer. She grabbed the tequila and drained the shot, then just picked up the bottle. She said nothing until the first bottle was done, and Corso had fished out a second. Experience told him she'd need at least the two before she'd be drunk. He watched her, neither of them speaking. Finally he thought he saw her relax her shoulders a little, and she turned to him.

"This is about the insomnia, right?" At Corso's nod, she sighed. "I'm sorry, wish I could control it. I've been hard to be around, haven't I?" He nodded, not meeting her eyes, knowing he was content to merely be in her presence, hopping mad or not. She took her hair down from its ponytail and shook it around her shoulders. That at least helped the headache some, she thought. She tipped the bottle back again, feeling the warmth of the alcohol infuse her limbs, and loosen her lips. "Corso, what the void are we doing?"

"Sitting here, drinking," he said, a small grin on his face, which was promptly wiped away with her next words.

"I mean, us. We can't ever be together, I'm too ….me," she told him, taking another swig. "You deserve more." She was half sitting, half lying on the sofa, bottle in her right hand, her left making flying motions in the air. She sighed, and took a large gulp. In the week since they'd kissed on Carrick Station, they'd danced around each other, Corso willing to let her take her time, Miriah alternating between wanting to touch him again and wanting to run, very far away.

"Maybe I don't, Cap'n. Maybe I get to decide what I want and deserve." He shifted uncomfortably, remembering that Magdalane had told him she'd test him. She stood, barely swaying, and made her way to her refresher, but instead of returning to the sofa, she walked to him, not appearing even tipsy yet.

"I know what we can do, that would help me sleep," she told him, running her fingertips down the front of his shirt. He forgot to breathe for a few moments, and caught her hand.

"Not when you're drinking, Cap'n. I want you to remember every second, every detail. I want you to be able to recall it when you're old and grey, as we sit together enjoying our grandchildren." He watched her eyes go wide, the pupils in the silver dilating, and knew she was fighting the impulse to flee. She jerked her hand free of his and grabbed another bottle from the cabinet, making her way to the sofa. She lay down with her back to him, and he could hear her drinking more. How much more can she stand, he thought. He moved a little closer to her, and then realized that she was crying, the one thing he'd never seen her do. He knelt on the floor beside her, and hesitantly, reached out to stroke her back.

At his touch, she went still, then relaxed. "Shh, don't cry, Cap. You just need to rest."

"N'ver be good 'nuff, for an'body," she slurred. "You jus don know that yet." He didn't even know what to say, but just knelt there, until he realized she was asleep, finally.

Corso watched as her breathing evened out and slowed, and slowly took the tequila bottle from her now relaxed hand, setting it on the floor out of the way. He slipped his arms under his captain, lifting her to cradle her against his chest, her head falling back against his elbow, her hair swinging free. She weighs nothing, he thought, and turned to take her to her quarters. Risha had been right, once she reached what the engineer had deemed "saturation level", she would sleep. He stepped into her quarters, and was again struck by how utilitarian it was, nothing like the area around Risha's bunk in the crew quarters. He placed her on her bed, but it seemed to him that she would likely be uncomfortable in her gear.

He sighed, and thought about the last statement she'd slurred out before she let go and passed out. Why would she ever think that about herself? He would have to keep thinking about that, but first, he'd make sure she was okay. He slipped off the boots she always wore, noting the bloody sock on one foot from where she'd kicked the crate in the hold. He worked that off, and with trembling fingers, smeared kolto gel on the split toes, and she never moved. Hate seeing her blood, even if I know it was not serious, he thought. He found some soft, clean socks in the ruthlessly organized drawer he'd seen her pull them from before, and covered her tiny feet. Blaster, he thought, but hesitated before touching the release on her belt, the cost of touching her this way was warring with his brain, and biology was taking the lead. He hurriedly just pulled the weapon from her holster and placed it on the nightstand.

Cripes, this isn't good, he thought. She needs me to be there for her, to take care of her for a change while she's not herself, and all I can think is how good she smells. He took a few minutes, pacing in the hallway, to regain his composure. When he'd gone through several models of blaster rifles in his head, comparing their specs, he turned and went to her. He sat her up, gently tugging the jacket she always wore off her arms, and when he eased her back to lie down, her silver eyes fluttered and she grabbed his arms, but only for a second, then she was gone again. He breathed a sigh of relief and pulled the soft blanket at the foot of the bed over her, lowering the lights to almost nothing. Wish I could just hold her, just be with her, but that would make her run for sure, he thought. He stood and was about to go to his bunk when she whispered his name.

He turned and saw that she was reaching out toward him, and he took the small hand in his own. "Thank you," she whispered, and held on. She fell asleep or passed out again, he wasn't sure. At that moment, there were only two things in the whole galaxy that mattered. She was holding his hand, and she trusted him enough to do that while she slept. He sat on the cold floor, leaning on the side of the bed, her hand warming in his.

Risha found them that way when she woke. Finally, she thought.


	10. Chapter 10

Miriah approached her oldest sister, unaccustomed to seeing her still. Magdalane had contacted her eight days ago, and Miriah had hurried to retrieve her sister from Hoth. Mag's panic had been palpable. Since she'd boarded, all the Jedi had done was lay in Miriah's bed, not talking, not eating, not doing anything really. When she wasn't staring at the bulkhead wall, she was sleeping. Miriah had checked her for all the known illnesses, and had concluded that it was burnout, stress, or a combination of the two.

Magdalane could turn off her body, but not her mind. She'd left Hoth, left him, and she didn't know how to deal with the situation. True enough, she was tired, but if she'd wanted to, she could use the force to bolster herself. She didn't want to. All her life, she'd denied her feelings, ignored any possible entanglements. Until him. She couldn't even admit to herself what Lt. Felix Iresso meant to her, how could she ever tell him? She knew Miriah was worried and curious, but just didn't have the energy to talk about it yet. Meditate, she told herself. Try to erase this…this emotion, this passion. It's only a path to the dark side, she thought. Bantha poop, was the next thought she had. How can the Order teach that loving someone is bad? We love our families, and no one tells us that is wrong. I would kill for either of my sisters, yet no one has ever taught that we have to forget our families. "There is no emotion, only peace" was the mantra she'd been steeped in since she was three years old, but it had a hollow feel now. I didn't mean to let him into my heart, she thought, it was just so unexpected. I wasn't prepared. She groaned and repositioned her body, hoping for relief but getting only sleep.

Miriah looked in at Magdalane's sleeping form, and quietly closed the door. She went to her chair on the bridge, seeing Corso there as well. "She's still mostly catatonic," she said in response to Corso's unasked question.

"I know you're worried about her, darlin', but she's safe and warm here. Whatever else is going on, we can do that much for her." He reached for Miriah's hand, their relationship still so new and fragile, but growing stronger every day. She linked her fingers with his, drawing strength from him.

"I'm going to make her favorite dinner, maybe she'll eat today," Miriah said, the smudges of fatigue clear under her eyes.

"I'll help you," Corso told her, bending to kiss her head. "It'll be okay, I'm sure of it. Master Magdalane just needs some time, so she can process whatever happened down there."

"I hope you're right," Miriah responded, knowing he cared for her sister.

Magdalane woke to the smells of home, of her childhood, and shook her head. Miriah, she thought. Of course, her sister would do whatever she could to make things better, it was her nature. She smiled to herself, and for the first time in almost a week, stood and made her way to the shower. Wearing some of Risha's clothes that hung loosely on her lean frame, she slowly made her way out of the quarters where she'd spent her time since she'd gotten there, and out to the galley. Only her sister and Corso were aboard right now, which made things easier. She didn't want to explain what was going on to a crowd.

Corso rose to greet her, and escorted her to a chair, seating her with a flourish. "So glad to see you up and about," he told her, his smile genuine. He has a pure soul, Mags thought, and she could see the love he had for Miriah clearly shining in his eyes. Mags returned his smile weakly, not trusting her muscles to do what she commanded. Corso went to Miriah's side, helping her bring dishes to the table, and they all sat to eat.

Miriah watched as Magdalane at first picked at the food, and then, as if some barrier had been breached, ate hungrily. "So good," her hoarse voice said, as she continued to consume the spiced baked fish and fresh bread Miriah had made. When Miriah brought out chocolate cake for desert, Magdalane sighed happily, making them all laugh. "I'd forgotten what an excellent cook you are, Mir," Magdalane said, sitting back from the table, her stomach full and her senses soothed. They moved to the lounge area, and Corso sensed that they needed some time together to talk, so he excused himself to the crew bunks, where he and Miriah had been the last week.

"So, " Magdalane started, "you decided to take a chance, and you're happy with him." It wasn't a question, and Miriah knew her sister could feel through the force that she was happy. She nodded anyway, and Magdalane sighed deeply. "I've fallen, Miriah," she said, putting her hands over her face.

"Fallen? What do you mean?" Miriah spoke softly, wanting her sister to continue.

"There was a man, on Hoth," she said, not meeting her sister's silver eyes. "I was assigned to help him with the Republic's efforts to quell a pirate group. We spent days, weeks, a couple of months together, every single day, and we grew close. Too close." At this, Magdalane stood to pace, but her week of being in bed had weakened her muscles and she sat again instead. "I left him without telling him how I felt, how it frightened me. I thought, with distance, I could gain perpective."

"How's that working for you?" Miriah said, sensing her sister was miserable but knowing she had to face this.

"I am a Jedi! I can't ever tell him!" Mags fought to keep the tears from her eyes, but was betrayed by their sting. "I love him, Miriah, and I can never find out if he feels the same, if we might have had a future together, because I have a duty to the Order."

"Screw the Order! They've taken our father, and most of our mother already. They took you away when you were just a toddler. What do you owe them? Loyalty?" Miriah stood, furious at the thought of her sister being miserable. "You can be loyal to them, to the Republic, and still love. I know, I know," she said, seeing the protest on Magdalane's face. "No emotion, no relationships, yet our parents are both Jedi and they loved each other."

"They were special. Master Yuon told me what a stir they created when they first announced their intention to marry. She also told me that love doesn't have to be a bad thing, but it's how we use the emotion that matters. I just don't know what to do about this, Mir. Everything has changed for me, I've never known emotion this strong before." She covered her face and gave in to the tears.

Corso could hear the crying, could hear Miriah's voice trying to sooth her sister, and itched to try and help. Magdalane helped me, so much, he thought. I wonder if this Iresso has any idea what a wonderful person she is. He lay in the bunk, wishing Miriah was with him but totally supporting her in helping her sister. When he heard no more crying, he cautiously stuck his head out in the hallway. He could see the sisters, sleeping on the sofa, their hands clasped. Instead of waking them, he covered them both with soft throws, and returned to his bunk.

Magdalane left her sister's ship and made her way to the command center at Aurek Base. She'd been gone for ten days, and she could see surprise on the faces who knew her as she walked. Her resolve was strong, her heart and mind settled and clear. Miriah and Corso had hugged her tightly, told her they would stand by until she contacted them, and waited on the ship. She exited the lift at the bottom and made her way to where she knew she'd find Felix Iresso. She stopped, gathered her courage around her like a cloak, and entered the room.

Lt. Iresso was bent over his desk, studying a map. He was very aware his Jedi was gone, and it had ripped him apart when he admitted to himself he was in love with her. Every day since she'd just disappeared he'd felt empty, colder than usual on this frozen rock. The constant nausea made him tired, and no matter what he tried he was unable to shake the memory of her eyes, laughing at him when she was happy, boring into his when she was unhappy. He felt rather than saw the shadow she made over his map, and when he saw the plain brown robe he looked up sharply.

"Master Jedi, I thought you'd gone for good," he said, unaware that his relief shone on his face. "It is good to see you are well." She bowed slightly, and lifted her arms to peel back the hood of the robe she wore.

"We have much to discuss, Lieutenant. Before that, I need to ask you a question." She felt her hands tremble for a moment, and called on the force to steady her. She saw him nod, and he motioned for her to sit across from him. "Are you comfortable working with me here?"

He looked at her with a curious frown. Could she tell, he wondered, that he had developed feelings other than admiration for her? "I enjoy our work together. Do you not? Is that why you left?" She shook her head.

"I very much enjoy your company, Felix. This.. alliance is one I am having difficulty navigating. I fear I've grown quiet fond of you, something I've never allowed myself to do. It's a new path for me, one with no markers and no map." She stood and paced away from him, seeing that they were alone in the room. He watched her intently, unable to believe the words that were still hanging between them. When she spoke again, she remained with her back to him, so that if his reaction was negative, her face wouldn't betray her. "I need to know if this path is something that you'd want to travel as well." She held her breath, unaware that she was doing so, but unable to move as she waited for his response.

He crossed to her quickly. "Magdalane, I would like nothing more than to travel with you. But I have concerns as well." He almost put his hands on her shoulders, but hesitated, not knowing what the rules of touching Jedi were. She whirled around to face him, the hope in her eyes almost undoing him.

"We may not move quickly down this path, but to know it's available for travel is wonderful. I know you have questions, I have them, too. We'll make our own way, as we go." She held out her gloved hand, and he took it, bringing it to the crook of his arm as he escorted her to the lift.


	11. Chapter 11

Maura stood looking over the other patrons in the cantina. This is nice, she thought, to get off the ship with the crew once in a while. They had finished missions on Hoth and needed a little down time, so while the ship was being checked out, they'd been exploring Carrick Station. Tonight, they'd had a belated birthday dinner for Elara Dorne and the party naturally extended to drinking at the cantina. Aric stood to her right, nursing a whiskey, while Tanno was undoubtedly more inebriated, laughing loudly and entertaining the few tables around them. Yuun was smiling at them, at least she thought he was.

Aric moved closer to her, not that she saw him but that she felt that little electric hum she always felt when he was near enough to touch. She had only had a couple of beers, but he was on at least his fourth drink. You can't tell, she thought. I wonder if Cathar have a high tolerance or if his military training is always present? She turned to him as he was looking her up and down and realized that if they weren't careful, their whole crew would be wise to the fact that their CO and XO were involved. He moved to close any distance between them and leaned toward her. Is he going to kiss me here, she wondered. Instead, he whispered to her, "Don't turn around, but your old friend from Coruscant is walking this way."

"Major! Saving the Republic sure looks good on you!" She turned to greet the voice and saw Jonas Balkar striding toward her, a drink in each hand. "I know I told you I'd buy you a drink someday." They'd done some missions for him off and on, and he was currently helping them locate an old unit of Aric's. They'd flirted, back when she thought Aric was never going to accept her as being CO of Havoc Squad, but it had never gone further. She remembered how Aric had reacted to those innocent flirts, too, so she wasn't surprised when he stepped between her and Jonas as the operative approached them.

"Jonas, how the hell are you?" Aric said in an over loud voice, as he took the drink Jonas was extending to her and placed it on the table. "We haven't heard from you lately. How are things on Coruscant?" Aric shook the man's now empty hand. Behind him, Tanno was in a heated discussion with another cantina patron, which appeared to be escalating. Aric turned to look at Maura, then growled low in his throat. "Excuse me, I think I need to escort Vik back to the ship." He nodded at her, his gaze lingering on her for an extra few seconds before he grabbed the Weequay by his huge arm and hauled him up and out of the cantina, Elara following them.

Maura turned to Jonas and invited him to sit down. They chatted about nothing for a few minutes before Jonas said, "So the big guy finally figured out he was in love with you, eh?"

Maura blushed and looked away, then back and nodded to Jonas. No need to keep up a pretense with him, she thought. "What do you mean, finally? Did you know? Even back when we were doing those missions for you, looking for Tavus?"

He smiled at her, handsome as ever, but now it did nothing for her. "He never stops looking at you, did you know that? When you do what I do, you learn to read people, and he's pretty easy to read. What about you? Ah, don't answer that, I see it in your eyes." He sighed. "I knew I should have asked you out when you were still blind to him. Timing is everything. " He took a sip of his drink, looking around the room.

Maura didn't have to look to know that Aric was near, she felt that hum again that she only ever felt from him. "I would have liked that, Jonas, but now it's just not possible. You understand, right?"

He nodded at her, standing. "I wish you well, Major. Take care of yourself, and your squad. Jorgan is a lucky guy." He walked away, a little unsteady, and as she followed him with her eyes she spotted Aric walking toward her. Hmm that's kinda prophetic, she thought. Aric walked with his usual military bearing but she could see the alcohol he'd ingested had him a little off balance. He stopped in front of her with a little bow, extending his hand to her.

She stood and took it, but he seemed to realize what he'd done and dropped his hands to his sides, and instead inclined his head toward the elevator. She nodded and headed that way, wishing he would touch her again. They exited the elevator in the deserted hangar bay, the surrounding ships quiet in the night, and as she stepped forward he grabbed her waist and pulled her against him. Their kiss intensified the hum she was feeling until her senses were scrambled and singing. When he ended it, he touched his forehead to hers, just standing there, holding both her hands in his. A noise from the next hangar had him jumping away from her. In that instant, she didn't want to be his CO anymore, she just wanted to be with him, but the moment had passed. He gave her a long, hungry look, but turned and slowly walked to the ship's ramp.

When she walked into the ship herself, all was quiet. She took a quick look around, but saw no one but the droid, who was muttering to himself and doing a diagnostic check. She wandered to the bridge, but didn't stay long. Disappointed that Aric wasn't waiting for her and still aroused from that kiss, she slowly walked to her dark quarters, palming the lock to open the door. When she entered, she felt that electric hum play over her, and smiled in the dark.


	12. Chapter 12

"I do not understand the human version of mating." That statement made Miriah glance at the huge wookie sitting across from her in the cantina. _Not enough tequila on the planet to make me explain THAT_ , she thought. She remained silent, hoping the question would fade into the darkness of the Tatooine night. Bow looked around at all the inhabitants of the cantina, which were largely human, and sighed. "On my homeworld, it was a great honor to bear young and grow the clan. The humans I have encountered in my travels have exhibited strange behavior in regards to this. Some wish it, some actively avoid it. Then there is you, Captain."

 _OH, stars, no_! She raised her glass at a passing service droid and it was promptly refilled. She downed it as a shot and received another before looking at her companion. "I'll probably regret this, but what about me?"

"You have very strong feelings for our Mantellian friend, almost as strong as those he has for you, yet you do not act upon them. Why do you reject a genetically acceptable male who would grow your clan?" He took another swig of his ale, and looked at her expectantly, waiting for an answer.

"Bow, humans have all these things that they learn and see as they mature, that mold their behavior patterns in regard to pretty much everything, including love. Humans mate as they choose, and it often has nothing to do with procreation." _And that's as far as I'm going with that_. Bow, however, just sat, waiting for her to continue. She sighed, finished her drink and requested another. "I don't know," she told him. "I…have had things happen to me in the past, that make me wary of attachments to others." _Why, oh why, didn't I ask Risha to come along for this mission? Why did Corso make sure he wasn't available?_

"When he does not have nightmares, he dreams of you, you know." The wookie shifted to view the entire cantina, and noticed the men who would have liked to approach the tiny female but were reluctant to cross his huge form to do so. "I have heard you cry at night as well. Why do you not accept that he could be a good mate? He is strong and loyal, a good fighter, and is of the correct age." Miriah laughed, mostly at herself, and mostly to keep from crumbling in a heap in front of one of her crew.

"It's not him, at all, Bow. It's me. I.. can't have the same feelings he has, can't be what he wants. I'd only hurt him eventually, and I value having him in our crew too much to do that."

"So, you would sacrifice a mate to have a crew that works well together? I do not understand." She shook her head, _I don't know how to make this different. It wouldn't work, I would break his heart, then I'd never see him or hear that voice again, and that would destroy me._ She raised her glass at the service droid again, but the large harry paw Bow extended covered her hand and drew it down.

"Let us go, Captain. The crew will be expecting us soon." His captain had consumed great quantities of her beverage of choice, and he wanted to get her safely to the spaceport. He growled at an approaching male, who turned quickly and walked away. They made their way to the ship, Miriah weaving only slightly, and he sighed in relief when the airlock door shut firmly and the lock engaged. She is a good person, he thought, but I still do not understand her reasoning. They each went to their quarters, Miriah stopping for water on the way to hers. She saw the subject of their discussion, stretched out on the long sofa in the lounge, sleeping soundly.

" _When he does not have nightmares, he dreams of you, you know."_ She carried that thought with her to her own bed, where she tossed and turned on the sharp point of it.


	13. Chapter 13

The sound of the door whisking open woke her, and Miriah squinted in the dim light to see Risha rush into her quarters and kneel beside the bed. "Rish, I wasn't making any noise, we've been sleeping.."

"Shh I know," she replied. "There's something out there. Something furry that skittered across the floor by the holo." She shivered, rubbing her arms.

"So take a blaster and…"

"No! Not when you might damage the ship with the ricochet or something." Corso sighed and pulled her closer, the man really could sleep through anything. Well, pretty much anything, she thought. She started to sit up when the door opened again and Guss tumbled through it, coming to a stop beside Risha.

"It's still there, I just saw it again!" he shuddered.

"Ok, if you don't want to use your blaster, use your lightsaber, Guss." Miriah looked at him with challenge in her eyes. "It can't be much."

"It's bigger than my foot, Captain, and moves really fast. It looked like it was chasing me at one point." Miriah sighed, and turned to her sleeping husband.

"Cor, sugar, we have a problem. Wake up," she said.

"Mmmfmm?" Corso opened one eye, and seeing the rest of the crew in their quarters, opened the other eye. "Wha's wrong?"

"There's a furry critter skittering about around the holo, and you're the resident furry critter expert."

"Huh," Corso said, still half asleep. "Torchy is right there, shoot it." He shrugged, "It's probably a mouse or something, maybe a small womp rat. Nothing to get freaked over." He eyed Risha as he said this, knowing her aversion to rodents.

"Unh-uh, not me, I'm not going back out there til it's gone," Risha stated, crossing her arms over her chest. "In fact, move over, Miriah. I'm staying here." Corso gave her a death glare, and resigned that he was going to have to get rid of one pest to get rid of the others, he grabbed clothing from the floor beside the bed and dressed under the covers before getting up. Stretching, he charged Torchy, and padded toward the door.

"Wait!" Gus yelled, and ran to the other side of the bed, well away from the door. "Okay, now go."

"Don't damage anything engine related," Risha called after him. After the door closed, they sat for several minutes waiting to hear the blaster fire, but nothing happened.

"Oh my stars, it's taken Corso down," Guss wailed, "I should have gone to heal him, it's all my fault!" Guss pulled the blanket over his head.

"Oh be quiet, Guss. I'm sure he's just still looking for it." Miriah was losing patience. She hadn't been asleep long, and these two were just plain annoying in the middle of night. She climbed over Risha, who had indeed crawled into their bed, and went to the door. Torchy fired just as she opened the door, and the smell of ozone and plasma and burned hair filled the lounge.

"Got it," Corso said, walking toward a fairly large, hairy beast.

"What is it?" Miriah asked him, wondering where they would have picked up a rodent. They hadn't had any food transports lately, and they didn't haul livestock of any kind. She squealed as Corso picked it up.

"Relax. It's a big, dangerous, fast moving hair ball." He sighed as he looked back at Miriah. "Bow's really gotta do something. I don't know, anti-shed shampoo?"


	14. Chapter 14

Miriah snickered softly as she maneuvered the freighter out of the space dock. She recalled last year, and the pranks that had abounded on the ship. Her entire galley was rearranged while she slept, which given her obsessive organization tendencies, had driven her crazy until she'd restored order. Then there'd been the "theft" of her socks—ALL her socks. Her special, very ultrasoft, padded boot socks! She wasn't the only victim, either. Corso woke one morning to find his spare blaster parts scattered in drawers all over the ship. He was furious, stomping around for days locating all his precious parts and pieces.

They'd gotten off relatively light compared to Bowdaar. Poor Wookie. It had taken months for the pink hair dye to finally grow out. He'd gotten in so many cantina fights during that time, Miriah had put aside an account just for bail money. He still growled when Risha walked too close to him. Guss was merciless to him, too. Guss had been gone during that time, and walked away unscathed by Risha's pranks.

That's alright, Miriah thought. They should be able to keep each other company, there on Quesh. Miriah had stopped there, ostensibly to refuel and rest before travelling on to Makeb, and had sent them down to the planet for some treasure hunting. They'd be able to find transport off by sometime next week, she laughed to herself. She set the navcomp for Makeb and padded, in her new comfy socks (thank you very much, Cor!), back to her quarters.

"She's gonna be furious," Corso said when she joined him in their bed. "But probably not as much over being left as her fancy bed linens and pillows being spaced." Miriah chuckled as she thought back over last night, when she had indeed sent the future queen's bedding out of the airlock.

"She'll be okay. Besides, I bought her new ones, but she's not getting them until she apologizes to Bow again for last year." Miriah snuggled to him and sighed.

Corso watched her fall asleep, and worried. Worried about what would happen next year, about being down two crew members going into a new conflict. Most of all, he worried that Miriah would figure out that it had been he, not Risha, who'd taken her socks.


	15. Chapter 15

Miriah lay back against the pillows of her bed and grinned. She and Corso had managed not only to leave the rest of the crew behind at the port, but also to sneak past the droid who always seemed to be able to tell when they wanted privacy, and actively tried to thwart them. She threaded her fingers through Corso's loose dreadlocks, sated and lazy. He was sleeping, his head resting on her belly, when she heard the crew returning, the airlock closing with a thud. No matter, she thought, they're used to seeing my quarters closed. She'd just closed her eyes when she heard the metallic clank of droid feet outside her door, and just managed to pull the sheet over them when the door swished open.

HK stood in the doorway. "Master, I have returned with the items you requested. Observation: It is the middle of the afternoon and you are in bed. Conclusion: You are ill."

Miriah just looked at the assassin, wondering what to tell him to get him to leave. Corso had woken when the droid started talking, and she could feel him shaking with silent laughter under the sheet. "No, HK, I'm not ill. I'm fine. I'm just resting. You can leave now."

"I cannot in good conscience leave you unknowing if you require medical assistance, Master. Shall I retrieve a scanner from med bay.."

"No, HK. Do not do that. Just…go away!" she said, pinching the still laughing Corso with her toes.

"Master, we cannot eliminate enemies if you are not functioning …"

"I said, I'm fine, HK. Go.. I don't know, calculate something."

"What do you wish to know the answer to, Master?"

Just then Corso started kissing her, the sensation enough to distract her thoughts and not notice that HK had been joined by C2 in her doorway.

"Master Miriah, this droid, though not a medical droid, seems to have determined that you are ill. I will bring you some hot tea and soup, or if you require medical assistance…"

"You're all going to require medical assistance if you don't GO AWAY!" she yelled, pulling Corso's hair as she did, hearing his muffled laugh. "NOW!"

Risha turned to Akaavi as the droids scuttled away from the captain's door. "Told you we'd been ditched. At least that was amusing. Thanks for the idea of sending the droids in instead of going ourselves." Akaavi grinned and nodded at Risha.

"Now we just have to calm C2 down before he changes out all the cushions again."


	16. Chapter 16

Miriah looked at Corso, straightened the suit jacket he wore, and gave him a brilliant smile. He looked good, she thought, really really good. When she told him that, she got the requisite blush before he hauled her to him and kissed her. Risha interrupted them, telling them the Senator had arrived and was waiting. Corso walked to the door and into the next room, but Risha stopped Miriah with a hand on her arm.

"Remember, Mir, you guys belong to each other. I didn't always think that was a good thing, but I see that it is. Don't let what you see out there change anything." Miriah looked at her friend with a frown, not understanding what she meant, and followed Corso.

The crowd was huge and loud, and when they saw Corso, cheers went up that shook the small stage they were standing on. A couple of months ago, they had retrieved some codes from Balmorra that allowed the government of Ord Mantell to disable a probe that was disrupting all comms signals, a probe that had been left by the sepratists who'd fought there for years. It was after that mission, she thought, that Corso had gone down on one knee and proposed, and minutes later, they had married. The governor and senators from the planet had insisted on a recognition ceremony for one of their most famous sons, and thus Corso was the man of the hour.

Miriah grinned when he was introduced to the crowd, pride and love shining from her eyes. She thought he was pretty terrific, too, and cheered along with the crowd. Wow he really does look good, she mused. It was then that she realized how many women were in this crowd of people. She'd taken her spot to the side of the stage area, and now scanned the crowd. Who'd have thought there were so many females on this planet? She rubbed the ring on her left hand with her thumb, they hadn't really made a huge announcement of their marriage for fear of making one of them a target for ransom. Now Miriah was wondering if that was a mistake. Judging from the looks on some of the faces here, she wasn't the only one who thought her husband looked good.

Corso looked around nervously, then spotted Miriah and was able to breathe again. He hated large crowds, and disliked the way the men everywhere they went looked at his wife. This crowd, he noted, had a lot of women in it. Maybe they're just the ones not working today or something, he thought. He stood listening to the senator's speech, trying to get Miriah's attention but she was scanning the audience as he had done. She glanced his way and he winked at her, his heart singing at the grin she gave him. He was lost in thoughts of her when the redheaded female who'd been standing to his right grabbed his arm. He pulled away, unsure of what she'd wanted, and gave her a look.

"I was trying to show you where the senator has set up for you to greet the people," she said, batting her eyes at him. He had to do what? He sighed, if Miriah hadn't thought it was good for them to have a positive image, he'd have been lots happier just being on the ship, in their quarters. But no, he thought, she wanted him to have the recognition he deserved? He didn't deserve it, though, she'd done as much as he had. When he'd pointed that out to the Mantellian governor, he'd dismissed it. He stood where they told him, shook hands and smiled, the whole time wishing Miriah was standing beside him instead of this red haired woman, who was still touching him, he noticed.

Miriah noticed too, and tried not to. Now she understood what Risha was trying to tell her. A dose of my own medicine, she thought. How many times has Corso stood, helpless, while I schmoozed some guy into doing what I wanted? She felt slighted and a little angry, but knew that he wasn't doing anything wrong. The redhead, on the other hand….

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sight of him removing her hand from his backside, while smiling at a blonde in front of him. Okay, that's too far, she thought, and took a few steps in their direction. Only a few minutes later, this event was over and they only had to be on the planet one night. Miriah took a deep breath and stopped, seeing Corso turn and walk to her, flushed with embarrassment.

"Thank the stars this is over. Never doing this stuff again, Mir, no matter how good it makes us look," he told her. She could tell he was acutely uncomfortable with the situation and didn't press the issue, and they walked hand in hand to the ship to change. They were meeting the rest of the crew at the Fort Garick cantina, which was pretty close to the spaceport.

The cantina was packed with people, many of whom had gone to the ceremony. They managed to work their way through the crowd, spotting Bow's head above the others. Risha had already ordered for her and there were two Hutt tequilas waiting for her. She downed one quickly, and saw Corso raise his eyebrows at her. She just smiled, she wouldn't say anything about seeing the redhead or any of the others who'd eyeballed him, just as he'd swallowed her flirting, but the alcohol was necessary. Sure doesn't feel too good, she thought, and I wish I had done less of it. They laughed and drank, Corso's celebrity status providing free drinks all around. Instead of downing them like water, Miriah was nursing her second drink, enjoying the lightheartedness of the crew and the feel of her husband's hand stroking her thigh. Risha was looking a little worse for wear, and when she stood to find the refresher, Miriah stood to help her get there. They were on their way back, the music so loud Miriah couldn't think, when she saw the redhead at their table. She reached down to charge her blaster, the whine being masked by the music. Risha was blissfully unaware, lurching toward the table. As they got close, Miriah saw the woman put her hand on Corso's cheek, and the panic on his face as he tried to get away from her without being rude.

Miriah shoved her blaster into the small of the woman's back, her voice low enough that only she and maybe Corso could hear her. "That's my husband you're so intent on throwing yourself at, and make no mistake, I've killed for less," she growled out. The woman froze, and stood slowly, just as the butt of the blaster connected with her head. When she fell to the floor and the screams started, Miriah found herself being hauled away by two troopers, her crew trying to follow through the throng of people. They let her go outside the cantina, and Miriah stomped off.

She'd been gone for most of the night when Corso finally found her, standing on a cliff at Mannet Point. She was looking out at the water, the wind whipping her black hair around her face, her black leather armor hugging her body, and if she hadn't turned her head he would have missed seeing her in the night. He approached her, but didn't speak, unsure if she was angry at him. She said nothing for several minutes, and when she spoke, her voice was soft. "I'm sorry, Cor, if I embarrassed you. And I'm sorry for making you watch all those times I flirted with marks. I never let them touch me, but you had to hear the comments and suggestions they made, and I see now how it hurts." He said nothing, but put his arms around her, hugging her close.

"As long as I was the one who was going back to the ship with you, I managed. Most of the time," was his answer. They walked slowly back to the ship.

"I am really proud of you, though, and I'm glad the people here recognize what you've done for them," Miriah told him, her arm slung around his waist.

"And I'm really proud of you, darlin', for not shooting her. I figured we'd be hiding a body tonight when I saw you with that blaster in your hand." She hip checked him, and ran up the ramp of the ship, hearing his surprised laugh behind her.

We're okay, she thought, and felt like she could breathe again.


End file.
